Child-free space

If you have the time to read this piece of writing, stop right now and go read this: Child-free sections on planes is a good start. Now let’s sort out the trains.

There’s some expressions I simply think the writer has nailed:
babyccino-swilling hordes
brattish middle-class kids
“quiet-zone”
parents feel so entitled

I think we need to have these expressions to define the tyranny that parents and their small and not-so-small children throw at those regular humans who have less right to anything the moment a child is present: “child-friendly policy”, “family-friendly coach” or “family-friendly restaurant”, “family bay parking”.

While this might not seem like such a sensitive and politically-correct stand to take, it is the excessive entitlement that parents feel and hence give their children that are really the insensitive and politically-incorrect attitude to adopt.  I have been at restaurants where parents allow the child the freedom to stand on seats and even worse, on tables, with or without shoes.  What might the parents feel should I place my shoe on their table? It is shocking they seem to presume their standard of hygiene on others.  I am sure, at some time or the other, we have heard wailing children in cinemas.  I thought the main purpose of a visit to the cinemas is to enjoy the show, not screaming, wailing and kicking children.  Recently, I sat at a popular day hawker centre at a table next to an extended family of grandparents, parents and children.  The young girl of about five years old, for some reason I cannot fathom, threw her tissue on the ground.  I think the mother would have left the tissue there had I not stared in horror at the piece of tissue, then stared in horror at the child, then stared in horror at the mother, then repeated that order of staring in horror until the mother chided the child until the latter picked up the piece of discarded tissue.

It seems parents have taken such policies overboard so that when there is a “child-friendly” place, it becomes “child-obsessive”.  If a child is not pronounced cute by an adult observer, the latter becomes an enemy of the whole family.  While the writer in the quoted article says that parents feel they have bred for the good of humanity, perhaps some Singaporean parents feel they have bred for the good of the country, that we need to have more Singaporeans and their children precious citizens who will build the future of our nation.  Maybe not.

Whatever it is, we need to be aware that “friendly” does not mean infringing on the peace and standards of others.  I can be friendly to you and that is all there is to it: friendly.  I am not in love with you and neither am I prostrating myself in front of you for your approval.  As long as I am not getting myself in your way, I am friendly.  And so should you not get yourself in my way.

What we must understand is that a child is amoral.  If parents do not chide a child, they have no choice but to leave it to society to use the whip.  If they cannot be adequate parents, others will do the job for them and for that, they should be thankful.

The last words here are not best left by me but by Julie Bindel:

“Do me a favour – have your kids, and enjoy them all you like, but please try to keep them from bothering me.”

P.S. Featured Image from http://www.jillstanek.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/child-free-zone.png

Loop and loopholes

Have you ever felt in a negative loop? Or observed someone in a negative loop?

As I was staring at the cursor going round and round endlessly as it was trying to access one of the government websites, every full circle simply made me increasingly want to give up on my pursuit to access the information. And it makes me wonder if that’s what loops do to people. Firstly it prevents you from going anywhere, then it discourages you from pursuing your initial objective and then, on top of that, it provides the legitimate excuse to turn away and head for the exit. Or, if you stare long enough, it may hypnotize you into the wilderness, away from reality.

My teenage son is in a loop comprising of stress from studies and the consequent need to destress by spending even more time on virtual games.

My aged dad is in a worrying loop for his eldest daughter in some faraway land and for his grandchildren.

These few days, I’m in a loop of wondering if I’m good enough, as a mom, as an employee. Or I can be a better daughter, daughter in law.

I didn’t need to, my husband thinks I’m giving all that I can and appreciate the effort and thoughts I put in for my family. We agree that being in a loop benefits no one, and we should get out of it.

On a lighter note, I think Singapore should ban those Taiwanese series (hokkien dubbed into mandarin) showing on TV. I strongly believe that these are brainwashing machines that make their audiences think that real life is as drama as the father who has a few wives and his son has an affair as his wife can’t or won’t give him a son or heir to the family fortune and the villain turns out to be one of the abandoned child of the mistress who schemed his revenge twenty five years later, by embezzling the enterprise’s fortune owned by his father and run by his stepbrother, but he has a soft spot for his stepsister who fell in love with his best friend, who turned out to be a playboy who toyed with her feelings and made her misunderstand that this was also part of his revenge plot…. That is the king of loops with the ultimate degree of outlandishness. And that’s why these usually go on for 400 to 700 episodes!

Honestly, anyone who makes it through half of these Taiwanese drama, is in the loop of loops and if you are one, trust me, you have started to think that your neighbor has an affair and his mistress is pregnant, your colleague is taking bribes and embezzling the company funds, everyone at home is jealous of you and eyeing your parents’ inheritance or the family home…. or even the conspiracy that everyone is trying to kill someone to frame someone else.

Or is your life a predictable loop? If you find yourself in a loop, find a loophole. By that, I mean loophole in a positive and virtually literal sense. Get out of the loop. Quickly. Without drama.