October blues and pinks

This October Monday is not exactly a sluggish start, but one with a renewed understanding that everyone is a different points in their lives; some are stuck and live in oblivion, some are struggling to get out of the rut, some are slowly stewed to death by work, some are basking in success, and some embarking on new journey or recovering from an ill bout of health, depression or divorce. The list is never-ending.

 

Other than celebrating Children’s Day on 01.10, October is internationally recognised as Breast Cancer Awareness Month (BCAM). Having lost (nearly lost and losing) friends and loved ones to cancer, I find October a little rough. It reminds me of the duality and irony of life; the string of festivals celebrating youth, innocence, food, beer and then campaign awareness to promote better health, disease control and management.

Isn’t it strange that as we progress and become more advanced, we abuse our bodies in the name of better living? I once had conversation with a friend, higher cost of living doesn’t equate to higher quality of living nor spending more on food means you are eating better. Or because we are so exposed to the “common-ness” (pervasiveness) of cancers and diseases, we talk about cancer in an objectified manner, making the person going through the episode a subject. For goodness’ sake, if you have not had a health scare before or knows what a health condition can do, don’t play expert, counsellor or warrior. This also brings me to the point that if you are more educated or knowledgeable, doesn’t make you any wiser or “know better” when it comes to swimming in the sea of health blues and pink. I especially like this article I came across; Think Before You Pink: In honor of breast cancer awareness month: 11 things not to say to women who’ve had breast cancer because of sensitivities involved… below are the 11 things you really should not say when you have friends feeling the blues. I’ve got cancer survivors at home, so, sometimes, it’s best to hold your tongue when you are not in their shoes, be it breast, colon, liver, pancreatic or any other cancers, diseases etc. Don’t judge and don’t be too quick to offer a comedic or trivialised “positive” perspective, respect the space and feelings they need and are entitled to and never tell them to update you on their condition or ask them to call you when they are feeling down or need a shoulder to cry on.

1. “You’re so lucky, you get new boobs.” Most of us would rather keep the ones we were born with.
2. When wearing a wig during chemotherapy: “At least you don’t have to worry about a bad hair day.” A day without hair is almost always the worst hair day.
3. “What did you eat growing up?” A heaping pile of cancer.
4. “Oh my god, you’re so young!” I know, it was a surprise for me too.
5. “You’re so strong.” Or brave or fearless—most likely untrue and no more true than for any other human experiencing the hardships of life.
6. “This is so scary.” We know.
7. Don’t call us: “breast cancer victims.” “Survivor” is bad enough.
8. “What’s your prognosis?” This always felt like someone was asking if I was going to die.
9. “My plumber’s brother’s wife’s sister died of breast cancer last year.” Yes, we all know someone who’s had cancer.
10. “When are you done?” With regard to treatment, it’s a constant refrain. Most of us are never “done.”
11. “Are you in remission?” There’s no such thing with breast cancer. It can always come back.

Source: http://qz.com/798460/breast-cancer-awareness-month-primer-what-not-to-say-to-women-whove-had-breast-cancer/